DNA of Masculinity – Reflection

When was the last time you sat still and thought about your life and your role in the world around you? Or the last time you took a walk and contemplated who you are and how you became that way? In our crazy, always-on lives, reflection gets lost. But, reflection is a key component of the mature masculine. It is in this time of contemplation that we look deeper into our lives and become more acquainted with who we are and why we are that man.

What is reflection?
Reflection is the practice of looking inward, at your thoughts, actions, and beliefs, and using what is found inside to understand you. It allows for you to answer why you do certain things, why you behave as you do, and what you must do to be a better person. The immature male merely acts, no thought follows these actions, no reflection shows him his inner self. The mature masculine seeks to understand itself, but more than that, seeks to act on what it learns through this process.

Why reflection?
Without reflection, growth will be stifled; without understanding what influences you and your past, you cannot move forward. Every person has wounds in their past; areas of hurt that have been done to or by them. And, these psychological wounds, like physical ones, if not addressed can cause further harm well beyond the initial hurt. Reflection allows for these wounds to be brought to the open and dealt with. Reflection allows for a deeper understanding of who and why you are. This is essential to move into the mature masculine.

How is reflection taught?
The simplest way to teach reflection is to encourage journaling and discussion from an early age. Keeping notes on the activities of a day and how it made one feel is a perfect starting point. From there, moving into autobiographical writing, reflecting on one’s experiences that have impacted their personhood, will lead to a continued life of reflection. Encourage young males to process events in their lives; use the “what, so what, now what” line of questioning, coupled with the ever-important “why”. Lastly, like so many of these markers of the mature masculine, reflection must be modeled. The mature male can explain his past in more than just a story; he can delve into the story behind the story.

To continue in the mature masculine is to understand our story and continue seeking this understand through reflection. When you look in a mirror, you see your reflection, but what is behind the man staring back at you? Reflection provides the deeper answers to who we are.

To understanding ourselves and our past, and shaping our future with that knowledge,

MD